Love
never gives up,
never loses faith,
is always hopeful,
and,
of course,
endures through
every circumstance.
Thursday, April 28, 2005
First all of all, I'm not super happy with my exam results. There's an improvement but some of the results aren't what I expected. Esp. ABC... I have absolutely no idea of how dear dr zaman marked the paper. Probably a lot of people scored a lot of ADs and I'm the unlucky one who's got a C+. STUPID! I hate it. And I got a B for Instru.. The paper which I screwed up... Goodness' sake.. I got a A+ for my Jap.. And I'm happy about it!
My concert is coming up! I need more time and more time to practise my parts. AHHHHHHHHHH................. HELP!!! Surely it's God who has given me the ability, creativity and productivity to do it! PLease!
I hope and pray that I'll have enough members to cover for all the parts... Good members of cos... Good attitude and effort put in. Nothing less. Not to mention people coming and support this concert. My effort would have been wasted if nobody comes and support me. Yupz..
23:20
Saturday, April 16, 2005
Alright.. Just something weird. Previously, some of the posts can't be read. There's just the title and that's all! Even though I did type text. Then I don't know what happened, it became normal again. Guess it's another miracle. God is indeed a miracle-working God.
And also to drop a note of testimony. I had 1 member in total when I led the clarinet section. While I was frantically looking for committed people to join. God went before me and worked it out for me! If God is for you, who can be against you? Even though I didn't have the best situation, God turned it around to be a good thing! WOw! I prayed and worried, became frustrated and discouraged, not to mention disappointed for the past few weeks. Now, I've in total 8 committed alumnis and guest players who are really solid good at playing clarinet. Praise the Lord!
02:28
Okay.. I don't really care about the problem I'm facing in this blog. The previous posts are blank!!! I don't understand why but I'm feeling frustrated about it.
Anyway, I was feeling very worried for Junius previous night. I received news from Des about Junius' problem. Both of us prayed for him and sms-ed him. At about 6.30am, I received a sms from Junius about wanting to be alone. I sent several sms. But nothing seems to work. I was kinda losing hope. I just woke up and for those who know me, will know that I don't talk until i brush my teeth. So I was praying to God in my heart and mind for Junius to receive revelation, to be strong in the mist of all that is happening. I told God that Pastor said that God will do exceedingly abundantly above all we ask or think. Our prayer and thoughts are prayer to God. Whether it's spoken or not, it becomes a prayer to God. So BEWARE of what you think too! Back to the topic. I had absolute no appettite for breakfast or even the rest of the day. After all the project talks, I bought a drink. I didn't even have the mood to go for the swimming outing I had arranged with the girls. It's really that bad. I told myself that I must keep my word, of what I have promised the girls and make good my word. Praise the Lord! I did eventually. And for whole time of the day, I was praying for Junius. As I was waiting for bus 963, I wanted to sms Jaslin not to wait for Junius as he told me that he would not be coming for CGM. However, before I can sms Jaslin. Junius called me and asked me what's Sky's block number. There and then, I knew that he is coming for CGM. I was quite surprised. God answered our prayers and performed a miracle! It's so amazing and wonderful. Des will be happy after I share this with him and he will praise God on the spot! Haha... Initially we were quite lost as in what to do for Junius to help. The only thing we managed to do is to pray. Prayer works wonders! Junius later on, shared with me and the CG that he thank God for having great friends. The only sms that impacted him is "hey paL, i'm gona stick with you thru thick and thin. 2 is better than 1." I wanted to sms him a verse but I'm not sure why I sms something else. Perhaps it's because of something which I busted the previous night. The bust was a super grave mistake a minister of truth should not make. Anyway, until Junius came for CGM, I was kinda condenming myself. I said all sorts of things like "I've failed as a Christian", "I'm the worst minister on earth", etc. Thank God for the Holy Spirit. He told me that there's no such thing as failure Christian and worst minister on earth. He told me that God's thoughts and ways are higher than mine. He then asked me a question, "Are you going to exalt your thoughts higher than God's?" I decided to repent and give those negative thougts to God's authority. You see, I was trying to make myself feel better by saying negative things to myself. In the end, satan will get me if the Holy Spirit didn't minister to me there and then. What I thought was, the spiritual attack on Junius is also a test on me. How am I going to bring my fruit back to the love of God? The test is also a test of the quality of my fruit. Jesus says that every fruit that we produce will be tested through the fire to see the quality, whether this fruit is truly of the Spirit. Thank God that Junius is a good and strong fruit! And all my fruits will get stronger and stronger!
By the way, something miraculous happened! For past few months when I downloaded Naruto, it took me hours to download! Howver, I took around 2 hours to finish downloading. I'm so happy!!! I can finally watch episode 130. Hahah....
Oh yah, I bought this book call "The treasure of a friend" by John C.Maxwell last sunday. It's a really great book. Even though this is a topic not a lot of pastor will teach and preach about, it's shows the character of God through friendship. I think this is what helps me to encourage Junius too! The revelations is simply awesome! Hallelujah!
02:12
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
I'm quite tired now actually. God has been great to me for the past week, or should I say past few days. By that I mean Especially great. No words to express how I feel. I'm not good with words, you see.
I was feeling a little low, down and out, plus lonely. In my head, I thought I have no friends. I almost went into a self-pity cycle again. Then the Holy Spirit told me to look around me carefully with much observation. On Sunday, I bought this book call "The treasure of a friend" by John C.Maxwell. I have revelations and am so blessed by this book. God opened my eyes to see the friends around me. On Sunday, one of my friends chatted with me over msn. He's a fellow Christian, a brother. We shared quite a lot of things that had happened in our lives. A real friend is a treasure. I do hope this friendship is a fruitful one!
Lately band stuff has been quite a headache. I was quite discouraged when I saw only 3 people came for practice and they are guests players! Mind you... They're people I know who were in band. It's just that they graduated and another came back to help out. I had totally no mood to conduct sectionals and I do not know how to conduct a good one. Thank God Huibao is willing to conduct sectional, taking ownership of everything. I, too, learnt a lot from her. So the thing now is to put them into practice. Actually I did thought about the kind of sectional I want to lead. I want to be a leader who believe in my members. My section is going to be a section who will put in the best effort they can into their respective parts and are a people who is willing to learn and sacrifice. The most important thing is effort and willingness. I'm watching out for that. I don't really care about the most talented person around. I've always believed that talent makes up 1% and the rest of the 99% is hard work, sweat and blood. Yupz... Sounds like I've got some attitude there. Well, this is also good news. Talent doesn't make up everything. The most important thing is character. Our attitude determines out altitude. Attitude can bring us beyond what we can imagine at times. There's band practice again tomorrow. There're 4 practices in a week now. On top of this, I've got a 1-year long project, guitar lesson twice a week, work and of cos, church and ministry. And tell you something, this is just the beginning of birth pangs! It's time for me to be stretched further. At the most, I'll cry my heart out, complain till the cows go home, play more arcade to release stress and exercise to shed off the fats. Not to forget the all time weapon, the presence of God. Yupz... I gotta go make some dinner. Chow!
23:25
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
I'm early in the morning. Haven't slept since yesterday... I was playing ming xin san que yi, which is a mahjong game. I'm gettin more and more addicted to this game because the games are never the same as the previous ones and it's easy to play. Just click here and there. Haha.. All thanks to Bevan. He helped me burn the game into CD and YanJun, who gave me the correct password to enter the game.
I've been giving myself some holidays to rest, to play, to work out my excess fats off my body, to finish things I've been wanting to fix. For example, bringing my printer to the head quarters to fix. I'm planning to do it today. I know that it's not an easy task to bring the printer from woodlands all the way to telok blangah area, especially when the printer is BIG! I'm also using this time to encourage my section people to come for practices. If they don't come, I'll just have to hunt them down again. So tiring. I wonder how it is like to lead the Jesus' way. Entering into others' lives and bring them into mine? Maybe.
I attended a friend's dad's wake yesterday. He said that we are so busy and are living in a fast-paced society till we don't have time for the people who cherish us and whom we love to build relationships. Very often, we tend to neglect our loved ones and take them for granted. The pastor who conducted the wake asks us this question,"How do you want people to remember you? As someone who is good, made an impact in others' lives?" I'm touched by what my friend and the pastor said. I thought to myself how do I want people to remember me. Dr Bernard once said that on every tomb/grave, there'll be an inscription of how long a person lived. Eg, 1988-2003. The most important part of this inscription is not the numbers. It's the dash in between the numbers. In life, what counts most is the journey you go through to reach your destination. Without the journey, there'll be no destination to speak of actually. I want to make an impact in people's lives, as many as possible. Though I do not know how or what to do, I guess perhaps even the smallest thing like caring for one another, sharing the gospel, etc will make that certian impact.
So if you happened to read my blog, think.
-How do you want people to remember you whether you're alive or dead?
-Will there be people around who will say 'this is a life well-lived'?
-Will there be people around who will say 'hey, this guy/gal did this something for me'?
03:01
Sunday, April 03, 2005
Today's finally the last paper. I'm quite happy. More things await me this holidays. I'm quite nervous about 3rd year project. And tomorrow, my friend Bevan is flying off to somewhere in UK. Two of them, Bavani and Minli are now flying over to Scotland. Junius and I had dinner with Bevan several hours ago. It was quite fun. We were joking about stupid stuff and talking a bit of the past during yr1 and yr2. So fast... We're in 3rd year. I'll miss my friends who are in P2. I think I typed this during the last post. Well.. Just bear with me for a while all right..
I'm feeling a bit down now for no apparent reason. Maybe it's about friendship thingy. I don't know why but I kinda feel like I'm kinda maintaining this certain friendship alone. However, I choose to be thankful for the friendship me and the person share. You can say I'm foolish or something. I rather be a person of gratitude than a person of complaints and bitterness. Nevertheless I will keep pouring in friendship to the person. Yupz.. Maybe reach till a point where I've totally given up when I don't see any fruits out of this friendship. Well... Maybe.
I'm quite tired. I need to refresh myself in the presence of God.
00:15
Friday, April 01, 2005
Tomorrow's the last paper-ACMB a.k.a Advanced Cell and Molecular Biology. I'm quite tired physically and mentally. These 4 days have been a real test of my mental strength. YUp! Today is the last day I'm studying for my exam this semester. People are getting ready to fly off to their various attachment destinations, local and overseas. As for me, I'm still preparing myself to take off into flight to project. I will miss my friends who are in period 1. I feel a bit sianz whenever I think about it. It seems like most of the gang are in period 1. Well, 3 and a half months flies. Hopefully we'll enjoy doing our stuff.
Today was Instru. Man, I feel like a champion. I forgot to bring my notes to study in the morning! Something like this actually happened! Oh man.. I feel like a fool. But there's something which I must say. All thanks to Desmond and Junius who willingly lend me their notes for last minute final final revision. Thanks, pals!
The Instru paper really s***s loh. I do not know what I was writing. Of course, there're some that I know how to do and some not sure or do not know. The thing is I can't answer a question for the second time in the row. It's the stray light graph in chapter 4 and something about high concentration in something absorbing something.
ABC and CCTA paper is pretty okay. I can do at least 80% of the paper. I'm glad that I studied fatty acid synthesis. It came out for ABC exams! I'm pretty confident that this time I should be able to get good grades for these two papers.
At this very moment, I'm trying to wake myself up to get back into the intense study mode! Haha... Brain, brain... Wake up, start your engine, work hard!
14:28
Sheryl Eunice Xia Xue'er
created on 22/01/1985
Working in Biopolis
Serving in a great CG e343!
orchestra ministry!
~-~-~Constant progress~-~-~
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