Love
never gives up,
never loses faith,
is always hopeful,
and,
of course,
endures through
every circumstance.
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
Stupid stupid blog.. I think this is the third time I'm posting and probably will not get posted. So now I'm smarter. After I finished typing, I'll save in word first then post it.
As I was saying I am quite worried for this friend of mine. She's not opening up to me and most others. Well, all I supposed. I don't want to see another person leaving. Isolating oneself is no good at all. I've seen several others like this too. In the end, they left. I feel that she's struggling with something deep inside her. What should I do to help her open up?
Tomorrow's the start of battle. Exams! ABC is the first battle. I've memorized most of the things liao. However, I'm still trying to convince myself that fatty acid synthesis will not come out because it came out for CT2. On the other hand, I'm trying to memorize it just in case it comes out. I don't want to kill myself and die after the ABC exam. I don't think I'm going to sleep tonight for fear of forgetting some of the processes and cycles. Yah.. You can say I'm on the extreme side. I'm kinda like this during exam period. I was spending 5hrs revising most of the things in mac donald's (woodlands ave 6 branch). I'm quite paiseh staying there for such a long time. Good thing the staff are understanding. Haha... I left the mac at 10pm.. I wanted to stay for another 30min but then I want to go home and bathe. That's why..
Okay.. Gotta save first..
All right! Finally this stupid blog works.. It's finally posted.
22:48
Monday, March 28, 2005
What the...? What is wrong with this blogspot thingy? I posted something the other time, long time ago. Yet it's not posted.. I took a long time to type leh.. Wah lao~ Anyway.. I still feel unprepared for exams even though I've studied. What to do? I'm right now in a bad mood. Also don't know why.
I'm quite worried for this friend of mine. I don't know what happened to her. Right from the start she doesn't open up to me. Well, it's pretty ok. However, I feel that she can't keep going on like this. After some time in this life, I've seen people who go away because they don't open up. The symtoms is the same as someone I knew before. In the end, the girl left her destiny. It's really sad and I don't want the same thing to happen to this friend of mine. What should I do?
22:48
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Haiz.. I'm now in my study break. I'm seriously not in the mood of studying. Dun worry, I got started. At least, I started and getting into the momentum. Yucks~ Physics.. ANyway.. I'm havin a super headache just thinking about studying Instrumentation. I started on ACMB and ABC first. I'm still all right with ACMB but must really understand and memorize everything, esp the behind part. I'm also guessing which questions will come out for exams, purely on instincts and depending on HS.
I got back ACMB practical exam results last week. I'm pretty satisfied with the results I scored. I don't know whether it's tai-ko or what. I don't think I studied very hard for it. Well, Xue'er don't push your luck too far. Okay.. I can say it's not really luck lah.. Huh..
Yah.. I was saying in my previous blog. I'm still going for cgm and svc during band camp. All thanks to Bea who encouraged me! Hee~
Okay.. I'm getting into the mood of studying Instrumentation. Goodness knows why I need to study such a module.
Nevertheless, I shall use this strategy my ex-tutor taught me. If I hate it, I must say that I love it!
I love Instrumentation!
14:45
Saturday, March 19, 2005
Remember about the being section leader thingy? Well, I gave some thought to it these few days and previously, I had wanted to login and typed out all my new views about it and stuff. However due to some blog internal server problem, I didn't manage to post it. So now I'm gonna type it ALL out!
Hmm... Actually, I was talking to Bea over the phone. I'm quite tired now. So I'll probably update you people tonight.
01:37
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
Today's ABC common test 2. What a sick paper! My goodnessssss.... Darn it! Dr Zaman set the paper in a kinda nice way. MCQs and structured questions. I never thought that she'll set one of the structure questions from book2. I expected MORE!!! There are 5 structured questions. 1 from book2 and the rest from bk1. I never expect her to set glutamate as one of the questions. There's no structural formula drawn. Not even the whole formula. This CT is a messed-up! For the first 15 minutes, I had the thought of handing blank paper. However, I thought I could just take my own sweet time to complete the whole paper. Well, at least I do my best to recall and reason in a logical way. Perhaps there's still a way out for me. I was SUPER stressed out while doing the paper. I don't know how to do. Not even the graph that I'm so good at. Serious! Come' on... Xue'er.. You gotta get a hold of yourself! It's a total screw up! To think I've studied almost 80% of book2. At the last 30minutes, I was quite shocked. I've only completed 40% of the paper. I couldn't figure out how to do calculations for question 3. It's suppose to be very easy but I just couldn't figure it out. Finally, I prayed that God will multiply my time. I didn't know how I did it. I was writing and writing, not even calculating mentally or manually. I wrote the answers, drew the graph and got the answer. It's the right answer, mind you. I guess it's really God. There's another graph-the L and B graph. That was pretty all right. It's the same question as CT1. Yah... I can still remember. Haha.. The last question. Man... I remember the first structure and the last. I couldn't remember the 2 in between. Therefore, yours truly figure out again. I hope it's the right answer. Yup!
Today is also the day where I've been confirmed to be the sectional leader of clarinet section! I don't know how to react to this. Well, I kinda expected it. I don't know whether I should receive it with joy or with sorrow. Things aren't happening well for my section. I guess it's really up to me to rise up and do something about it. It's also a kind of training ground for me. It's also going to be a great test for me of whether I do put God first or band, a test of wisdom and of leadership, plus servanthood. I've always compare band and the kingdom of God. Both has basically the same 'rules' and attitudes to abide. It's true. You must still come for both even when you don't feel like it, even when you are dragging your feet. It's taking you a lot of pain to instil discipline and good attitude in your section. The whole responsibility is upon you. Imean, me. Yah... I will liken it to being a leader in the kingdom of God. It just that being a cell group leader needs more grace and strength to be a good cgl. Well, I really think it this way.
I cried in the library today. I felt real stressed up and really want to go back to the secret place. I wanted to cry but little tears came out. I kept sub-pressing it within me. Unlike in the past where I will cry whenever I want to when I feel frustrated or sad, blah blah... I don't know what's up with me these few years. I'm not sure whether it's because of the ABC CT2 or is it because of self-pitying of loneliness. What so ever... I need to pray about this. Serious. ; )
23:46
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
I was reading my friend's blogs just now. Both of them are feeling stressed due to exams. I'm feeling the same way too! I'm currently studying ABC . It's no easy feat at all! I'm trying to understand and memorize all the various cycles and blah blah... It takes super HUGE GIANTIC BRAIN to memorize and so on... I feel like crying.. Haha.. I was asking God whether I should memorize the fatty acid metabolism structural formulas.. He says I should. However, I chose not to because I'm lazy and kinda afraid that my natural hard disk doesn't have enough space. Well, I was looking at the past year exam papers. God prove me wrong. The past year exam paper came out a question that asks us to state the whole fatty acid metabolism with structural formulas. Oh man!!! I don't have a choice. I have to memorize everything. So here I am feeling stressed out and all, took some time off to write my blog, as well as to update you people a bit. Yup! Eating the fried rice dad cooked. Yummy! The food my dad cooks is the BEST! Oishii!
16:13
Saturday, March 12, 2005
I login to blog previous day but sth wrong w the internal server system. I typed a page long of blog, then it's not published.
Yesterday I went for Pastor Benny Hinn's healing crusade aft sch. I didnt manage to get inside the stadium. Sad.. Then some of us went for a drink and watched naruto for awhile, thinking of waiting for the rest who r inside the stadium to come out & debrief together. I was quite in a dilemma of whether we should wait or not. Finally, it seemed like we decided to stay. S.liqun encourage me to go for today's crusade. I'm quite decided about staying at home to study. I'm not 100% sure that my decision is right or wrong. One thing I know is that I'm really worried about my studies. Two practical exams and one major test next week. Chunks of stuff to understand & to study. If I go for today's crusade, I'm afraid I can't pass well for the exams and test. Haiz... She says tat this is the stretching period for me. If I ask him whether I should or should not go, I think he'll sure say yes. Well... Hmm.
00:40
Thursday, March 10, 2005
Today's a tired day. Certain things ran through my mind. Things like if i take ownership of my section in band, what's going to happen when band and cell group clash? If i take ownership of my section, chances are ppl may jus promote me. I would b an example to the rest as a SL and as a Christian. And when things clash, what am I going to choose? It's not about the name "SL" or "leader" kinda thing. If i dun take ownership, who will after those yr3 graduate? Things are jus not gg to b the same. Esp. when there is camp fr fri to mon... Cgm and svc are ON! Wad am i gg to do? I'm not worrying too much. I'm jus wan to take time n think abt the decision i hav to make sooner or later. It will surely come. I'm quite sick of having to choose btw God and band, stuff lk tat. I wld really like to hav both but things aren't so perfect and nice and all. There's always a test here and there. I guess it's all part of a Christian walk. And i was havin supper aft band prac wif some of my sectional ppl. They're Christians too. But whether is it by name or in reality and spiritually is, tat i dunno. They said they dun like youth churches. I mean, watz the point 'bt it? Do u mean tat youth is not worthy of God's love and salvation? Or do they mean that youth churches grow cos' they're hyped up? Wad a mis-conception? And lately, I guess i gotten quite a bit of discipleship fr my cgl. It's nth bad. It's gd and i jus sort of lk let it pass me and change. i hope i rem wad she said 'bt it. Yah.. Sometimes i will think tat there's no really right or wrong but there are also time where i myself is confused wif wad i'm thinking. Yah.. Humans.. unstability..ANd so FAST!!! It's march now.. In a few weeks' time, I'm taking my exams and moving on to 3rd year. Everything moves so quickly. If i dun grab hold of the time I hav in sch and enjoy playing clarinet in a band, i will never hav the chance in this lifetime to do so so freely. I probably would be busy wif work and stuff. I really wan my CG to come for my last two concerts. I'll be real sad and upset and hurt if they're unable to come. THere's hasn't been action-support for me fr them for the past 2 years when i hav concert. Because of tat, i even told myself not to invite them so as not to get hurt anymore. However, there's still this glipmse of hope tat they'll definitely come no matter wad may b. Yah, hope so...
00:54
Sheryl Eunice Xia Xue'er
created on 22/01/1985
Working in Biopolis
Serving in a great CG e343!
orchestra ministry!
~-~-~Constant progress~-~-~
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